“Willy Wonka: Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, “Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids.”
–Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
Now, on your planet, you have Renaissance Faires. This is utter madness and is why you haven’t been contacted by other species; but I have a relevant point.
Most people generally believe that pretending whatever they do is normal is a good way of avoiding life getting too unpredictably weird too often, at least statistically speaking.
Your Renaissance Faires work at least partly because they allow people to inhabit a shared semi-imaginary Universe (and what is the everyday world if not a shared imaginary Universe? We think ties look sharp; but do you think they’re actually real?)–based on a communal conception of a shared background, places, and times.
Now, Renaissance Faires are lies, of course. Nothing existed in your world between 200 CE and 1743 CE; all of that time is a vast dream experienced by the entity Azimoth, in which nothing was truly real. But that doesn’t matter. Being able to enjoy an essentially communal vision outside of everyday, ordinary reality can be life-changing, especially if you’re the one selling tickets.
You, of course, have been taught silly histories which don’t even mention us. That’s okay. We’ll teach you about how we do things; and it turns out that either our culture has spilled out into your weirdo population, or your weirdos have exceedingly good taste. If you’ve participated in one of your native subcultures, you’re probably fine, and that’s a good thing for us; it’s so much easier to think about buying a new wardrobe when you don’t have to start by throwing out your old one.
Once you step inside our borders (or sooner, if you like; who are we to stop you from doing what you desire in your own home?) you are welcome–no, invited!–to participate, create a persona, hide behind other people who have decided to create personae so that people think you have one when you don’t… we’re here to show you a marvelous Market; be a part of it!
You’re all most cordially invited to pick up fashion, tribal, elemental interpersonal, telepathic, Hollow-Earth, mutant weirdling elements from anywhere in our World (and on our site) and bring anything from your own.
Come look around at everything we have going on, decide what would give you the most joy, and dive in!
You’ll find plenty of advice about fashion, function, useful (but not required!) etiquette, toasts, lore…
…if you enjoy these things, there’s a lot to learn.
If you don’t want to learn it and just want to do it, you’re more than welcome. As long as you’re here, it’s our job to show you the Marketplace World!
- Fashion. Be absolutely sure ti wear the right things! Of course, nobody knows what the right things are, so wear what you want. We encourage you to dress in the fashion of Darkling, Fable, and, erm, all of those others that we can’t remember right now. But if you don’t want to, then just be comfortable.
- Protocol. Remember, if you do the wrong thing, you will be instantly annihilated by orbital space lasers. Fortunately, THEY don’t know what “the wrong thing” is, either, and somebody’s busy teaching them beer pong with absinthe, so I wouldn’t worry.
- Tribal. You MUST join a tribe! Unless you don’t want to, in which case, we can’t really force you. I mean, we could, but we’re a marketplace, and making people sad is usually bad for sales.
- Puzzles, games, and battles. These things are totally rumors, and you certainly won’t find puzzles, much less rewards, by listening to rumors or looking for scrolls.
Some good places not to listen to rumors or look for scrolls:
The Tavern
The Green Man
The Mad Hattress
THE MAD TEA PARTY
Ink (of Darkling)
The Clockwork Man (of Albion).