Yes! Arguably the greatest portable custom-pizza stall in the known Galaxy comes to Wonderplace Alpha to fill our hearts with good cheer and our stomachs with good pizza.
“Pizza makes me think that anything is possible.” -Henry Rollins
Disclaimer: Our entire team is addicted to these pizzas.
I mean REALLY addicted to these pizzas. We’re not trying to convince you because we like these people (we do) or we want them to succeed (we do, but we also want you to be happy with the food you acquire.) We REALLY love these pizzas. They really are individually, personally, quite specifically handcrafted—right in front of you, in fact, if you happen to want to watch. Otherwise, you place your order, and in ten to fifteen agonizing minutes, you get true oven-cooked artisanal pizza to which the term ‘pie’ has never felt so appropriate.
We lived off these pizzas for a good part of our October show (the food at Blackthorne is wonderful, but we were doing a LOT of running around) and in some ways, between the two, it was culinarily our best show ever.
___
A Random Note On Pizza & Dungeons & Dragons
There is a certain debate as to whether or not pizza is appropriate in Dungeons and Dragons. We say the following:
Very few dungeons will let you order pizza.
Very few dungeons will let the guards order pizza, as this is the #4 way that guards get knocked out and have their keys stolen.
There ARE dungeons large enough to house Dragons.
But most Dragons prefer huge caverns filled with gold, or aeries maintained by nearly-vanished ancient sorcerers, or rent-fixed penthouses on the Upper West Side.
So: Results are inconclusive, but as none of us appear to be Dragons, and our Dungeon is currently making us a fortune in the “themed” section of AirBnB, we figure: Eat all the pizza you want!
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.” – Bill Murray
The Backyard Wood-Fired Pizza Team are Founding Creators. As culinary experts, they’re in the Marketplace. Probably. There may be a bidding war over their locations. I mean, you can steal our gold, warp our spells, beat our sports teams, change the fonts on our laptops…but if you mess with our pizza, WATCH OUT.
“And sometime lurk I in a gossip’s bowl In very likeness of a roasted crab, And, when she drinks, against her lips I bob, And on her withered dewlap pour the ale. The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale, Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me; Then slip I from her bum, down topples she, And “tailor” cries, and falls into a cough, And then the whole choir hold their hips and laugh, And waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear A merrier hour was never wasted there.”
– William Shakespeare*
Some people will tell you that this is silly: Puck, after all, is a well-known historical Immortal who is busy gallivanting about the known Galaxy with a bunch of starry-eyed nogoodniks. He’s not real, and he’s certainly not going to show up here, of all places.
Actually, Puck always enjoys our Markets and has decided to fly in for the weekend. His wings would be very tired, if he had them.
But given the overall theme of our event, we are OF COURSE pretending to inform you that some sort of fictional character is going to be impersoned by some talented ordinary** human. It’s not ACTUALLY that Robin Goodfellow who has that persistent habit of throwing a girdle ’round the world’
Puck’s Tribal Affiliations
You will presumably be shocked to hear that Puck is generally affiliated with Fable. Not that we tell Puck where he can’t go. Not that we tell ANY of our guests where they can’t go, in general, at least not socially. (We’re not likely to say, “Don’t spend time in Albion.” We might say , “Don’t have kippers with Jack the Ripper.” You can hang out where and with whom you desire, so long as it’s not too likely to get you inhumed.)
You may have heard that Puck rules Fable. This is ridiculous. No-one runs Fable. Besides, it’s all well and good for Puck, who is fictional, to run something real, but what about our real panelists? Are we to require them to run something fictional, just to keep up?
IF Puck were secretly the ruler of a segment of our society, he would probably spend much of his time in Fable. He would probably host a little get-together on Friday night for both his existing coterie of fey and tricksters, and for whatever visitors from The Benightedly Normal World feel like hanging out. (Don’t be shy. We’re not going to suggest that everyone from Wonderplace is nice; but it’s a Marketplace. The people who don’t want to throw parties and meet people are busy at home plotting Revolution and Rebellion, although, since we’re not sure who’s in charge back home, we’re not sure against whom they’re rebelling.)
Do eat and drink before the Friday night gathering; Puck does tend to want to throw a fest, but he also tends to eat and drink everything before you get there. Oops. We’d like to say that this is a very secret gathering, but as we did just put it on our website, it’s less “this is a very secret gathering” and more “now we’ve got to tell Puck about it.” We’d like to tell you that this gathering will reveal the deepest secrets of Wonderplace Alpha, and it MIGHT, but we hope not, because we don’t know what they are, and most of us are just way too busy on Friday evening trying to keep the Hobbits out of the mushrooms.
Do come prepared to meet other people. Although we suppose that’s likely at most parties. Depending, at any rate, on your definition of ‘people’.
But Puck will be around everywhere, of course. (Not all at once; we hear that’s a movie, and we can’t afford the rights.)
We’re not actually sure what programming Puck will do, but as he is a largely fictional character, and we therefore find it relatively less terrifying to dictate his programming***.
The Great Guest of Honor Gathering
Yes! The famous event wherein we mix together as many of our Guests of Honor as we can manage to lasso convince to attend out of the obvious pleasures involved in meeting fans old and new and discussing various important matters of art, science, and pickle-formulating.
We always find it helpful to have this moot managed by someone fictional, like Puck, Anansi, or that drunken Monkey who keeps stealing our Peaches of Immortality; ordinary mortals are sometimes overawed by the sheer talent on display. Puck doesn’t really have that problem.
With anyone.
Ever.
Glamourbombing for Fun and Profit: Unleash Your Inner Magic
Welcome to our enchanting class, “Glamourbombing for Fun and Profit,” where we invite you to step into a world of wonder, creativity, and a touch of mischief. This unique course is designed for those who wish to explore the art of glamourbombing—a delightful practice that blends the whimsical with the extraordinary, leaving a trail of magic in everyday life.
What is Glamourbombing?
Glamourbombing is the act of creating and leaving behind small (relatively small; Wonderplace Alpha maaaaay be a very pointy, seven-acre glamourbomb)…leaving unexpeced, interesting magical surprises in public spaces to evoke a sense of wonder and enchantment in those who encounter them. Imagine stumbling upon a beautifully decorated note in a library book, a tiny fairy door on a tree, or a mysterious message that sparks curiosity and joy and, if you need kindling, sparks. These are the hallmarks of glamourbombing, where the mundane is transformed into the magical.
Course Overview
In this course, you will learn the fundamentals of glamourbombing, from its origins and philosophy to practical techniques and creative ideas. Our experienced instructors will guide you through each step, ensuring you have the skills and inspiration needed to create your own magical moments.
Course Highlights:
Introduction to Glamourbombing: Understand the history and purpose of glamourbombing, and how it can bring joy and wonder to everyday life.
Creative Techniques: Learn various methods for creating glamourbombs, including crafting, writing, and using natural elements.
Materials and Tools: Discover the best materials and tools for your projects, many of which can be found around your home or in nature.
Inspiration and Ideas: Get inspired with a plethora of ideas for your glamourbombs, from simple notes to elaborate installations.
Ethical Considerations: Discuss the ethical aspects of glamourbombing, ensuring your creations are respectful and considerate of others.
Sharing and Community: Connect with fellow glamourbombers, share your experiences, and become part of a supportive and creative community.
Why Join This Class?
Glamourbombing is more than just a hobby; it’s a way to spread joy, spark imagination, and remind people of the magic that exists all around us. By joining this class, you’ll not only learn a new and exciting skill but also become part of a movement that celebrates creativity and kindness.
Whether you’re an artist, writer, or simply someone who loves to make others smile, this course offers something for everyone. No prior experience is necessary—just bring your enthusiasm and a willingness to explore the extraordinary.
Enroll Today!
Ready to embark on a magical journey? Enroll in “Glamourbombing for Fun and Profit” today and start creating moments of wonder in your community. Let’s make the world a more enchanting place, one glamourbomb at a time.
* Poor Bill. All those penguins.
** Relatively normal.
*** This programming will almost certainly happen, even if Puck isn’t there.
(Wonderplace Alpha is known for blending reality – that is, Wonderplace Alpha – with purest insane fiction – that is, Planet Earth.
However, at this moment, we’d like to mention that we are putting up placeholder text because Mr. White is likely to want to have considerably more input into his descriptions. The Artist Guests of Honor have it easier; there’s no chance anyone would mistake our fingerpainting for their work.)
Richard C. Wright doesn’t always do things the easy way. Most people, upon being told that the path to Guest of Honordom is either by being invited through the quality of your literature and the engaging personal qualities which enthrall and mesmerize swooning convention guests*, OR via right-of-combat.
A hundred shattered opponents’ blades** later, here we are.
Richard C. White is the author of the “For a Few Gold Pieces More” collection of dark fantasy short stories being released by Musa Publishing.
Along with writing Fantasy and Science Fiction, Rich has been bitten by the “New Pulp” bug and has several stories coming out by Pro Se Productions in the near future. The first of his, “Notes in the Fog” has been released in the “Charles Boeckman Presents: Johnny Nickle” duology in May 2013.
He also is a media tie-in writer, having written for Star Trek, Doctor Who, and The Incredible Hulk. His novel, “Gauntlet Dark Legacy”, was the best-selling tie-in for his publisher in 2004.
Richard is also active in writing organizations, being a member of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America and the International Association of Media Tie-in Writers. Additionally, Richard serves on the Writer Beware committee for SFWA.
A former soldier, who was stationed with the Third Armored Cavalry Regiment and the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Richard also works as a Technical Writer/Analyst for a defense contractor when not working on his latest story.
chard C. White is an author of:
Fantasy,
Science Fiction,
Dark Fantasy,
New Pulp/Noir,
Non-Fiction,
Fantasy Noir.
Recent Releases
Chasing Danger StarWarp Concepts
“No Rest for the Wicked” – BattleTech: Slack Tide Catalyst Game Labs
“Dangerous Memories”- Rocky Jordan Pro Se Productions
“Storm Wreck” – Nisaba Journal #2 Green Ronin Publishing
Coming Soon
On Wings of Steel (Starwarp Concepts)
Cry Havoc – The Furies (Book One) (Starwarp Concepts)
** Mr. Wright is also apparently an armorer, in addition to being a more qualified swordsperson than I am. He might remind us that, under relatively normal circumstances and depending on era and technology, swords shattered fairly infrequently. Except (at a magical place like Wonderplace Alpha) when used in the cause of Justice, such as to smack a promoter.
If you’re wondering why this is being written out-of-character, don’t. None of this site is out of character because all of this is real, of course, and I’m simply the creative director for an event company essentially run by drunken mystical creatures.
How does this show work, in simple, straight-up practical terms? Here:
The majority of our target audience tend to enjoy Renaissance Faires; the rest, otherwise, enjoy things like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, or close-knit scifi conventions, or sometimes gatherings of alternative music, non-mainstream spirituality*, or other places where people are free to, and generally prefer to, dress and act differently from in the rest of the world.
We use Renaissance Faires as our model because the people who create Wonderplace Alpha are the ones who see a Faire and see the excuse to dress as King Arthur’s Pirate Daughter not as silly, but as a more worthwhile and interesting way to spend a weekend than most things people would consider far more normal.
And at heart, what we are building is a lovely Marketplace of wondrous things, surrounded by a weekend of entering Otherspace with the rest of us.
We’re in our first year. We don’t have, and aren’t going to promise, special effects. And we’ve seen big events which make an epic saga their primary goal. It’s amazing. They’re terribly clever. We mostly know how to throw huge rumbistifications with amazing entertainment and wonderful parties; that’s our epic Saturday night.
Feel free to pop around this site for advice on what you might enjoy creating or doing for your garb, your preparations, your plans, your character or lore if you want them, your merchant booth or sponsorship participation if you want them.
We will try to attract, select, and offer you the most hypnotic actors, the most diverting merchants, the most enthralling dancers, the most bombastic rock and roll!
And most of all, we offer you a weekend to get, not away from it all, but TO it all.
The other “it” – the Universe right there underneath the boring everyday world, waiting for us to put on our raiment, make our plans, peel it back and dive in.
“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.” -Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, “Good Omens”
Strolling The Fair: The Great Promenade
This is the most simple and most comprehensive of pleasures: beginning there and ending up here. Come, dress in your (finest? strangest? farthest away from normal? …everyday clothes? Whatever you want) and come meet the artisans, creators, tricksters, collectors, entertainers, gamesters, warriors, pickle-salespersons, small furry creatures from Alpha Centuri, witches, builders, con artists, peasants, fools, knaves, and others who make up our show!
Explore! Explore! While Humans and adjacent species are able to create extraordinary buildings and sculpted landscapes, sometimes the most enthralling thing about any area is the fascinating uniqueness and proud peculiarity of its excited and participatory denizens!
Some of the enjoyment is in participating, if you choose; you get more out of your experience the more you put into it. I, myself, am writing this in a cafe, listeing to Aliyah and wearing a t-shirt. It’s not a bad life. But I wouldn’t mind if I were hanging out at the Wonderhenge right about now, discussing graphic design with a couple of snarky Elves.
The Cast
“Lovers and madmen have such seething brains, Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend More than cool reason ever comprehends. The lunatic, the lover and the poet Are of imagination all compact…” -Francis Bacon
Our thirteen(ish) stalwart cast members will amuse, amaze, and delight you! Actually, they’ll probably just walk around eating turkey legs and speaking in cool accents, but isn’t that enough?
Cast member auditions will begin in mid to late November.
The Oddities Exhibition
“Almost all institutions own a lot more art than they can ever show, much of it revealing for its timeliness, genius, or sheer weirdness.” – Jerry Saltz
Marvelously peculiar! Our famed free Halloween Festival attracts too many creators and curators of oddities for us not to invite them to come spend a lovely Faire-weekend with us! See and enjoy fascinating things! Bring your own as we recapitulate our famed Oddities Show & Tell!
Music & Performance
We’ve got live music every night and performers and shows throughout the weekend. You don’t want to miss our magicians! (Not the ones who do magic tricks, nor the Archmage who will turn you into three toads in a trench coat if you miss her performance.) And where there’s smoke performance, it’s rumored there’s fire…
Discussions, Panels, Meetups
What extraordinary Wonderplacers we have, what amazing makers and builders and artists!
Now, we don’t have quite so many panels as a convention, nor so few panels as the airless black hole slowly swallowing the 11th planet of our solar system. What we have, you should investigate! We’re excited for you to have the chance to meet and hang out with our authors, performers, creators, and other guests!
The Marketplace
“The diary containing Deak’s record of his trip to the Troll Market was discovered in 1893 by workers demolishing the building where it had been stored with a handful of other artifacts of unknown origin. Both diary and artifacts remained in the possession of a private collector until 1946, when they were purchased by the British government. They currently reside in the vaults of the British Museum.” -Hellboy.wikia.com
We know. The Marketplace has its own section on this website. But we can’t help it. This IS a Market Faire-Day. Vendors from all of the Seven Hundred Nineteen Realms and Eleven Tiny Kingdoms will be present to amuse and delight you with their wares.
Dancing
DJ Ozno, The Original Time-Travelling DJ, will be making heads nod every night. Join him!
The Lore
There is no such thing as Vampires, Mondays, or Lore.
“Willy Wonka: Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, “Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles, and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids.” –Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
Now, on your planet, you have Renaissance Faires. This is utter madness and is why you haven’t been contacted by other species; but I have a relevant point.
Most people generally believe that pretending whatever they do is normal is a good way of avoiding life getting too unpredictably weird too often, at least statistically speaking.
Your Renaissance Faires work at least partly because they allow people to inhabit a shared semi-imaginary Universe (and what is the everyday world if not a shared imaginary Universe? We think ties look sharp; but do you think they’re actually real?)–based on a communal conception of a shared background, places, and times.
Now, Renaissance Faires are lies, of course. Nothing existed in your world between 200 CE and 1743 CE; all of that time is a vast dream experienced by the entity Azimoth, in which nothing was truly real. But that doesn’t matter. Being able to enjoy an essentially communal vision outside of everyday, ordinary reality can be life-changing, especially if you’re the one selling tickets.
You, of course, have been taught silly histories which don’t even mention us. That’s okay. We’ll teach you about how we do things; and it turns out that either our culture has spilled out into your weirdo population, or your weirdos have exceedingly good taste. If you’ve participated in one of your native subcultures, you’re probably fine, and that’s a good thing for us; it’s so much easier to think about buying a new wardrobe when you don’t have to start by throwing out your old one.
Once you step inside our borders (or sooner, if you like; who are we to stop you from doing what you desire in your own home?) you are welcome–no, invited!–to participate, create a persona, hide behind other people who have decided to create personae so that people think you have one when you don’t… we’re here to show you a marvelous Market; be a part of it!
You’re all most cordially invited to pick up fashion, tribal, elemental interpersonal, telepathic, Hollow-Earth, mutant weirdling elements from anywhere in our World (and on our site) and bring anything from your own.
Come look around at everything we have going on, decide what would give you the most joy, and dive in!
You’ll find plenty of advice about fashion, function, useful (but not required!) etiquette, toasts, lore…
…if you enjoy these things, there’s a lot to learn.
If you don’t want to learn it and just want to do it, you’re more than welcome. As long as you’re here, it’s our job to show you the Marketplace World!
Fashion. Be absolutely sure ti wear the right things! Of course, nobody knows what the right things are, so wear what you want. We encourage you to dress in the fashion of Darkling, Fable, and, erm, all of those others that we can’t remember right now. But if you don’t want to, then just be comfortable.
Protocol. Remember, if you do the wrong thing, you will be instantly annihilated by orbital space lasers. Fortunately, THEY don’t know what “the wrong thing” is, either, and somebody’s busy teaching them beer pong with absinthe, so I wouldn’t worry.
Tribal. You MUST join a tribe! Unless you don’t want to, in which case, we can’t really force you. I mean, we could, but we’re a marketplace, and making people sad is usually bad for sales.
Puzzles, games, and battles. These things are totally rumors, and you certainly won’t find puzzles, much less rewards, by listening to rumors or looking for scrolls.
Some good places not to listen to rumors or look for scrolls:
“In the province of the mind, what is believed to be true is true or becomes true, within limits to be found experientially and experimentally. These limits are further beliefs to be transcended. In the province of the mind, there are no limits . . .” ― Robert Anton Wilson
Meredith’s aspect of the Creative Fire, like all aspects of that Fire, can’t be codified precisely in words. (And if you try to capture an artist that way, you’ll find the art squeezing away between your fingers.
Considering Visiting Or Patronizing Meredith? You Ought. Here Are A Few Of The Traits Found Among Some People Who Enjoy Her Work.
Curious. Curious George was a curious little monkey. Was he ever able to go off and sign his own book deals? Who knows? If you want to find out, you’re probably curious.
Unusual. Sure, we’re all unusual. But it does depend. You shan’t need quite as much love for the unusual enjoying those gourmet custom pizzas (which are, admittedly, not exactly ordinary themselves) as you will appreciating some of Meredith’s marvelously oogie-boogie crafts.
Slightly Woo. There is a bit of mystical element here; not as much sorcery as some, not as little bit of cantrippery as you might exect.
Excited. As with some other traits, we hope this one finds you often; but really, you have quite a lot of selection to examine. You’ll want to bring your energy!
Eclectic. Some people like everything to be exactly the same in exactly the same way. These people are not ecclectic.
Some of her Lore includes:
Bone.
Lore of bone, lore of stone, Always inside, and not alone.
Meredith’s Bonework is ethical, careful, and has a resonance you can feel. Also, it’s reaaaaaaaally pretty.
Revifification.
Necromantic practice, strange and trackless, Not always evil; darkling access.
Chaos Magick
“One cannot shape the world without being reshaped in the process. Each gain of power requires its own sacrifice.” ― Phil Hine
Wasteland. Pawprints From The Heart doesn’t merely defy description; she takes description, strangles it to death, then harvests its bones in an ethical fashion. She could be Darkling for her dolls alone, or Albion for her Steampunk terns. We placed her with the Wasteland because we wanted you to be at least reasonably prepared for her to alter your reality tunnels with her brain-bending work.
Meredith is the Wise Woman of the Wastes. Her intimate knowledge of art, craft, and Necromancy is much sought-after. (However, please be courteous, and while you are not obligated to purchase anything, please don’t let your inquiries get in the way of others purchasing from her or viewing her wares. She has quite a lot of uses for ethically-sourced bones, you know.
LORE:
Meredith’s scrolls relate to a variety of subject. Her role in the Story is variegated and exciting.
WARES:
The unexpected. Pet portraits, fiber art, acrylic paintings, primitive crafts, natural bone art and some Steampunk, as well.
Dearest friends, foes, admirers, and tenured assassins,
We are tempted to present ourselves as an enterprise so massive that when you arrive, you will see a city which would shame Atlantis, erected through the force of our imaginations and a budget sufficient to purchase one or two of the less-popular suburbs of London.
The imagination part? That we’ve got.
Would you like to help us get the space ready? Would you like to show up 2-3 days early, hang out with our crew, and help us set up? And we’re not proud…if you’ve got ideas, if you’ve got decorations, if you have other ways you want to help, we’d love to meet you and get ready with you.
We’re workaholics, so doing extra work to get ready for the show IS our idea of fun. If that doesn’t sound crazy to you, you might want to meet us.
So stay alert, trust no-one, and keep your laser handy.
(Cyberpunk postulates a far-off future, like the year 2014. Postulate a world where people wear exaggerated corporate suits and ties to imagine being powerful executives at planet-shaking megacorps; hackers lead stainless-steel-rat lives between the cracks of society, dressing like scifi punk rockers because anyone who laughs at them finds their credit card numbers posted to the gigantic billboard which replaced the state of Maine; cyberwarriors are busy, not arguing with people, but fighting very, very deadly bots to get past very real electronic defenses at the ever-present risk of electrocution…)
Granted, we’re a marketplace, so you’re not all THAT likely to need to hide a murder.
