Interactivity & Experience Archives

April 1, 2025April 2, 2025

“Throw Them Overboard: An Unofficial Abney Park Drinking, I Mean Listening Party”

An Official (Unofficial) Abney Park Drinking Game

Gear up, airship crew! Pour your rum, mead, or absinthe, and let’s set sail with Captain Robert.

What You’ll Need:

Abney Park music (albums like Æther Shanties, Lost Horizons, or The End of Days work best).
A drink of choice—bonus points for steampunk vibes (e.g., rum, whiskey, or something green and mysterious).
(bonus points if you’re drinking a Captain Robert.*
Friends (optional, but airship crews are merrier in numbers).
A playlist or live performance video (e.g., DragonCon 2008–2015 footage).

Rules:

Take a sip when…

“Airship” or “Sky” is Mentioned: Any lyric about airships, flying, or the sky (e.g., “Airship Pirate” or “The Secret Life of Dr. Calgori”). Double sip if it’s in the song title.
Victorian Vibes Drop: A song references corsets, goggles, gears, or anything steampunk-specific (e.g., “Herr Drosselmeyer’s Doll”).
Captain Robert Appears: Any mention of Captain Robert or a pirate captain (e.g., “The Ballad of Captain Robert”). Toast the captain with a hearty “To the skies!”
Instrument Switcheroo: In a live set, a band member swaps instruments mid-song (common in their eclectic performances). Sip for each switch.
“Ohh” or “Ahh” Chants: The song has a dramatic group vocal chant or piratey “ohh/ahh” (e.g., “Sleep Isabella”). Join in, then sip.
Mechanical Sounds: You hear a clock ticking, steam hissing, or other industrial sound effects (looking at you, The End of Days).
Nautical Nonsense: Lyrics mention ships, sea, storms, or drowning (e.g., “Throw Them Overboard”). Sip and sway like you’re on deck.

Take a bigger gulp when… 8. Genre Shift Hits: A song blends genres wildly—like folk to industrial or cabaret to rock (e.g., “Neobedouin”). Cheers to their chaos! 9. Audience Interaction: In live footage, Captain Robert (or another member) banters with the crowd or tells a story. Gulp for charisma. 10. Plot Twist Lyric: A song tells a mini-story with a dark or unexpected turn (e.g., “The Derelict” or “Herr Drosselmeyer’s Doll”). Gulp for the drama.

Finish your drink when… 11. “Airship Pirate” Plays: Their anthem kicks in. Stand, salute the captain, and drain your glass. 12. Set Ends: If watching a live performance, finish your drink when the band takes their final bow or the video fades out.

Optional Hard Mode (The Kraken’s Challenge):

Shot Rule: Take a shot (instead of a sip) if a song mentions death, ghosts, or the undead (e.g., “The Wake” or “Dead Silence”). Beware the body count!
Costume Bonus: If you’re dressed in steampunk gear (goggles, top hat, etc.), take an extra victory sip whenever you catch your reflection.

Safety Protocol:

Hydrate between rounds—water’s the real treasure on long voyages.
Know your limits; even airship pirates need to dock eventually.

* A “Captain Robert” is:

A rum-heavy elixir for the airship’s helm.

Ingredients:

2 oz Dark Rum (e.g., Gosling’s Black Seal or Kraken for that pirate vibe—Captain Robert demands the good stuff).
1 oz Spiced Rum (e.g., Captain Morgan or Sailor Jerry, for extra swagger and spice).
0.5 oz Overproof Rum (e.g., Bacardi 151 or Plantation OFTD—151 proof or higher, because the Captain scoffs at weak spirits).
1 oz Lime Juice (freshly squeezed, to cut through the rum and nod to scurvy-fighting sailors).
0.75 oz Cinnamon Syrup (homemade or store-bought—warmth for the airship’s engine room).
0.5 oz Falernum (a spiced, almondy liqueur from the Caribbean, evoking trade routes and steampunk exoticism).
2 dashes Angostura Bitters (for depth and a nod to old-world apothecaries).
Ginger Beer (a splash, for fizz and a stormy kick).
Garnish: Cinnamon stick (set ablaze briefly for drama), lime wheel, and a charred orange peel (for that smoky, airship flare).

Equipment:

Cocktail shaker
Jigger
Matches or a lighter (for the flaming garnish)
Rocks glass or a tarnished brass mug (steampunk aesthetic optional but encouraged)

Instructions:

Prep the Cinnamon Syrup (if making your own):
- Simmer 1 cup water, 1 cup sugar, and 2 crushed cinnamon sticks over medium heat until sugar dissolves (5–10 minutes). Cool, strain, and store. Takes 15 minutes, lasts weeks.
Build the Base:
- Fill a shaker with ice. Pour in the dark rum, spiced rum, overproof rum, lime juice, cinnamon syrup, falernum, and bitters. This is the Captain’s hearty core—rum-soaked and unapologetic.
Shake Like an Airship in a Storm:
- Shake hard for 15 seconds until chilled. Imagine you’re dodging cannon fire over the Atlantic.
Serve:
- Strain into a rocks glass over a big ice cube (keeps it cold without diluting too fast—Captain Robert doesn’t water down his orders). Top with a splash of ginger beer for a fizzy lift, like clouds parting for the airship.
Garnish with Flair:
- Light the cinnamon stick briefly with a match until it smokes (10 seconds max—don’t burn your ship down), then drop it in. Add a lime wheel and squeeze an orange peel over a flame to char it lightly, releasing oils, then tuck it in. The aroma should scream adventure.

Tasting Notes:

Flavor: Rich, boozy rum hits first, layered with warm cinnamon, clove from the falernum, and a smoky, citrus bite. The ginger beer adds a sharp, stormy finish.
Strength: Potent—around 3 oz of rum total, pushing 30% ABV or more with the overproof kick. Sip it slow, like plotting a raid.
Vibe: Dark, spicy, and theatrical—perfect for a steampunk pirate captain.

Offering to Captain Robert:

Present it with a salute: “To the skies, Captain!” If you’re meeting Robert Nathaniel Finn (or a proxy at an Abney Park gig), hand it over in a brass mug with a grin and a lyric quote—maybe “We’ll storm the skies together” from “Airship Pirate.” He’ll appreciate the effort, even if he’s more used to stage props than sipping mid-set.

Pro Tips:

Scale It: Double the batch for a crew—serve in a pitcher with extra ice.
Non-Alcoholic Nod: Swap rum for spiced tea and ginger syrup if the Captain’s off-duty.
Safety: That overproof rum’s flammable—keep the flame brief and away from your face.

March 30, 2025March 30, 2025

Thoughts On Creating A Fabulous Steampunk Ball

We asked Grok for Steampunk Ball ideas. We’re busy working on bringing you the best darn Steampunk ball we can humanly create. So it’s on our minds.

Here are some considerations.

What Makes a Great Steampunk Ball?

A Steampunk ball is a sensory plunge into an alternate history where steam reigns supreme and creativity knows no bounds. On a high budget, which we do not have, we would be babbling like mad about the caviar-infused deviled eggs. We’d also be choking on the price we’d have to charge. This ball, on the other hand, is included. Here are some of our suggestions for running a Steampunk Ball on a low budget. It’s about ingenuity:

Lighting: Use mason jars with LED candles (thrifted or DIY) to mimic gaslamp flicker. Hang brass-painted PVC pipes as faux chandeliers.
Soundscape: Beyond music, add ambient steam hisses or clock ticks (record these from a kettle or old clock, looped via a cheap speaker).
Activities: Host a “Tinker’s Corner” where attendees swap DIY gadget ideas, or a “Penny Dreadful Reading” with volunteers reciting melodramatic tales.
Community: Encourage attendees to adopt personas—airship captains, mad inventors—and mingle as if at a grand Victorian exposition.

For a splurge, hire a small troupe of actors to stage a faux airship crash or a “time traveler’s debate,” adding theatrical chaos to the night.

Famous Steampunk Entertainers. (We have worked with some of these folks. We can recommend all of them!)

If budget weren’t a constraint, these performers would transform your ball into a legendary affair. Here’s a deeper roster:

Steam Powered Giraffe: Their robotic mime act, with David Michael Bennett’s baritone and Isabella “Bunny” Bennett’s crystalline vocals, blends vaudeville and sci-fi. Expect “Automotonic Electronic Harmonics” to mesmerize.
Abney Park: Led by Robert Brown, their airship pirate saga comes alive with worldbeat rhythms and industrial edge. “Sleep Isabella” could be your haunting centerpiece.
Professor Elemental: Paul Alborough’s chap-hop antics—think “Cup of Brown Joy” rapped in a pith helmet—bring infectious humor and danceable beats.
The Men That Will Not Be Blamed for Nothing: Punk fury meets Victorian grit; “Margate Fhtagn” channels Lovecraftian chaos with a Cockney snarl.
Frenchy and the Punk: Samantha Stephenson’s percussive energy and Scott Helland’s guitar weave a cabaret spell—try “House of Cards” for eerie elegance.
Voltaire: Aurelio Voltaire’s Gothic baritone and sardonic wit shine in “When You’re Evil,” perfect for a shadowy waltz.
Emilie Autumn: Her “Fight Like a Girl” melds violin virtuosity with industrial rage, a feminist anthem for the corseted crowd.
This Way to the Egress: A six-piece gypsy-punk ensemble from Pennsylvania, their accordion-driven “Onward” feels like a carnival gone rogue.
The Dresden Dolls: Amanda Palmer and Brian Viglione’s Brechtian punk cabaret—“Coin-Operated Boy”—offers theatrical rawness.

These acts range from $5,000 to $20,000+ depending on travel and production, but they’re the gold standard of Steampunk spectacle.

Massive, Comprehensive List of Steampunk Songs (Expanded)

Here’s an even bigger playlist for your DJ, blending iconic Steampunk tracks with lesser-known gems and thematic fits. It’s eclectic, spanning folk, punk, industrial, and classical reimaginings:

Steam Powered Giraffe: “Honeybee,” “Brass Goggles,” “Fancy Shoes,” “Steam Powered Giraffe,” “I’ll Rust With You”
Abney Park: “Airship Pirate,” “The Derelict,” “Herr Drosselmeyer’s Doll,” “Throw Them Overboard,” “Victorian Vigilante”
The Men That Will Not Be Blamed for Nothing: “Boilerplate Daniel,” “Etiquette,” “Sewer,” “Charlie,” “Blood Red”
Professor Elemental: “Fighting Trousers,” “I’m British,” “Steampunk Girl,” “Penny Dreadful,” “Animal Magic”
Frenchy and the Punk: “Caravan,” “Yes I Wanna Go,” “Temple of Sleep,” “Monsters,” “Trick Rider”
Voltaire: “The Mechanical Girl,” “Stake a Claim,” “Beast of Pirate’s Bay,” “Goodnight Demon Slayer,” “Ex Lover’s Lover”
Emilie Autumn: “Opheliac,” “Liar,” “Gothic Lolita,” “Swallow,” “Marry Me”
This Way to the Egress: “Cage Bird,” “Delicious Cabaret,” “Going Home Again,” “See No Evil,” “M.I.A.”
The Dresden Dolls: “Girl Anachronism,” “Missed Me,” “Bad Habit,” “Backstabber,” “Half Jack”
Rasputina: “Transylvanian Concubine,” “The New Zero,” “Rusty the Skatemaker,” “Holocaust of Giants,” “Watch T.V.”
Vernian Process: “The Alchemist’s Vision,” “The Curse of Whitechapel,” “Something Wicked,” “Unhallowed Metropolis,” “The Last Express”
The Cog is Dead: “The Copper War,” “Time Machine,” “The Death of the Cog,” “Steam Powered Stories,” “Blood, Sweat and Tears”
Sunday Driver: “Mechanical Angel,” “Black Widow,” “Swan Song,” “Concubine Waltz,” “Jewel of the Empire”
A Halo Called Fred: “Steampunk Song,” “Goggles,” “Quantum Mechanics,” “I’m a Superhero,” “Tupperware”
Dr. Steel: “Build the Robots,” “Marionette,” “Childhood Don’t A-Go-Go,” “Planet X Marks the Spot,” “Fibonacci Sequence”
Ghostfire: “The Last Steampunk Waltz,” “Vaudevillian,” “Hellfire and a Handbasket,” “Black Carriage,” “The Man With No Face”
The Clockwork Dolls: “The Ballad of Black Jack Jezebel,” “No. 13,” “Raise the Airship,” “Maiden Voyage,” “Ashes to Ashes”
Unextraordinary Gentlemen: “Black Iron Road,” “Open Arms, Empty Air,” “Mr. Soot’s Black Hand,” “A Counting Game,” “Frozen Moment”
Thomas Dolby: “She Blinded Me With Science” (retro-tech vibes)
Tom Waits: “Metropolitan Glide” (gritty industrial folk)
Roxy Music: “In Every Dream Home a Heartache” (futuristic decadence)
Instrumental: “Steampunk Revolution” (Derek Fiechter), “Clockwork Tangerine” (Brandon Fiechter), “Waltz of the Damned” (Adrian von Ziegler).

This list could fuel a 12-hour ball! Dig into Bandcamp, Spotify, or YouTube for full albums—many Steampunk artists thrive there.

What Do People Wear? (Expanded)

Low Budget: Raid thrift stores for vests, blouses, and trousers—distress them with tea stains or sewn-on gears (craft store cogs, $2 a bag). Make goggles from PVC rings and bottle caps. Wrap boots in duct tape “spats.” Women can layer skirts with a cinched belt for a bustle effect; men can sport a $5 bowler hat.
High Budget: Invest in bespoke corsets ($200+) with brass boning, tailored frock coats with epaulets ($300+), or leather aviator gear with real brass buckles. Add pocket watches, monocles, or parasols with hidden gadgets ( Etsy artisans excel here). Full airship captain regalia—think peaked caps and braided jackets—could hit $500+.

Food and Drink (Expanded)

Low-Budget Food: Serve “Engineer’s Rations”—hardtack (flour-water crackers), potted meat sandwiches, or “Gear Grease Tarts” (jam-filled pastries cut into cog shapes). Pickled eggs or veggies in jars nod to preservation tech.
Low-Budget Drinks: Brew tea in bulk (Earl Grey or Darjeeling), serve in mismatched thrift-store cups. “Aether Tonic” = tonic water with a splash of grenadine. Fake absinthe: anise extract in green-tinted lemonade.
Splurge: Offer absinthe fountains ($50-$100 rental) with sugar cube rituals, or champagne towers for bubbly excess. Pair with “Airship Canapés”—smoked salmon on rye, or mini pheasant pies (catered, $10/plate).

Are Non-Steampunks Welcome? (Expanded)

Absolutely—Steampunk is a gateway subculture! Newbies in jeans can borrow a top hat or goggles from a “Costume Trunk” (set one up with spares). Veterans often mentor, sharing lore like “the Great Steam Schism of ’08” (a fictional feud you can invent). It’s a party, not a purist’s club.

Dancing Style (Expanded)

No rules, but options abound:

Victorian: Waltz (3/4 time, easy to learn), quadrille (group square dance), or polka (lively hops).
Steampunk Twist: Add mechanical arm gestures or “steam puffs” (exaggerated exhales). “The Cog Jig” = stomp to industrial beats.
Freeform: Sway like a broken automaton or twirl like a top—improv rules. Pair with “The Last Steampunk Waltz” for eerie grace.

Etiquette (Expanded)

Faux formality is the game:

Address others as “Captain,” “Doctor,” or “Lady”—improvise titles like “Mistress of the Aether.”
Offer toasts: “To the cogs that turn our fates!” or “May your boiler never burst!”
No need to know real Victorian manners—overact and giggle at faux pas.

Cheap Decorations (Expanded)

Gear Wall: Paint cardboard gears (cut from boxes) in metallic hues, glue to twine, and hang as garlands.
Airship Models: Twist wire hangers into zeppelin frames, cover with brown paper, and suspend with fishing line.
Maps: Print aged maps (online freebies) on tea-stained paper, pin to walls with “ expedition routes” marked in red.
Gadgets: Stack old clocks, radios, or typewriter parts (yard sale finds) as “Tinker’s Heap” centerpieces.

Toasts, Romantic, and Silly Moments (Expanded)

Toasts: “To the inventors who defy gravity!” (serious), “To brass and bravado!” (cheeky), “May our rivets hold and our hearts soar!” (romantic).
Romantic: A couple trades a brass key and a locket under a faux gaslamp, or slow-dances to “Honeybee” as gears spin overhead.
Silly: A “mad scientist” spills glowing punch (food coloring + Sprite), or a group performs a “Gear Grinding Polka” with clanking spoons.

Famous Steampunk Balls (Expanded)

Gaslight Gathering (San Diego): Features a “Grand Promenade” and tea dueling, drawing 500+ in corsets and goggles.
The Asylum Steampunk Festival (Lincoln, UK): 3,000 attendees parade through a castle town; the ball has fire dancers and live bands.
Nova Albion (Santa Clara, CA): A hotel takeover with a “Steampunk Saloon” and masked ball—think 1920s meets 1880s.
Waltz on the Wye (Chepstow, UK): Riverside revelry with quirky contests like “Best Beard” alongside a formal dance.
Wild Wild West Steampunk Convention (Tucson, AZ): A desert twist with cowboy-Steampunk fusion and a saloon-style ball. (Condolences on their recent cancellation.)

Bonus notes on Steampunk as a “gateway subculture”:

The phrase “Steampunk is a gateway subculture” means that steampunk—a subculture blending Victorian aesthetics with retro-futuristic technology, think brass goggles and steam-powered gadgets—acts as an accessible entry point into a wider web of related subcultures or alternative scenes. It’s the front porch to a bigger, weirder house, pulling people in with its charm before they wander deeper.

Steampunk’s appeal often lies in its mix of the familiar and the fantastical. It’s got that 19th-century vibe—corsets, top hats, Jules Verne novels—that feels historical and cozy, but it’s spiked with imaginative twists like airships and clockwork robots. This makes it approachable for newcomers, maybe through a book like The Difference Engine or a steampunk festival. Once hooked, they might explore adjacent subcultures: cosplay (building elaborate costumes), maker culture (tinkering with DIY tech), or even dieselpunk and cyberpunk, which tweak the timeline but keep the inventive spirit. It’s a soft launch into nerdier, craftier, or more avant-garde territory.

The “gateway” part comes from how steampunk bridges mainstream interests—say, historical fiction or sci-fi—with niche passions. Someone might start with a steampunk outfit for fun, then end up welding sculptures or joining a burner community like Burning Man. It’s not that steampunk itself is shallow; it’s just welcoming enough to lure you in, then point you toward wilder paths.

March 23, 2025March 23, 2025

Wonderplace Alpha Weapons Policy (Peace-Tied, Please)

Weapons Policy

“The primary thing when you take a sword in your hands is your intention to cut the enemy, whatever the means.” – Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Five Rings

The Short Version – Quick as a Katana Slash!

If it’s illegal in New York State, it’s a no-go inside the event venue. Period.
Misuse your weapon or prop—like swinging it around in a crowded hall—and it’s deemed unsafe faster than you can say “samurai.” Which you, like me, very probably mispronounce.
Unsafe gear? We’ll kindly ask you to stash it in your private lair (your room, car, or home).
Bought a shiny new weapon at the con? Box it up pronto or let our staff peace-bind it with ninja-level precision. No showing it off until it’s secure!
All props and weapons get a once-over by our crew. Even if it passed muster at another event—or last year’s Wonderplace—it’s subject to our approval here.
Anything that screams “safety hazard” (think bulky costumes clogging the halls) might need to vanish from the scene.

Heads up: One staffer might give a thumbs-up, but if another challenges it, the Head of Security swoops in with the final call. And just because no one’s stopped you yet doesn’t mean it’s all good—stay sharp!

“In strategy, your spiritual bearing must not be any different from normal. Both in fighting and in everyday life, you should be determined though calm.” – Miyamoto Musashi

Why So Serious? Because We Care!

Normally, we’d kick this off with a wild, whimsical tale and some goofy pics (imagine a knight juggling swords!), but this is big-deal stuff. We want you and your fellow adventurers safe—no injuries, no legal woes. Let’s keep the epic vibes going strong!

Welcome to Wonderplace Alpha – Where Props Rule!

“The sword is the soul of the warrior.” – The Book of Five Rings

Wonderplace Alpha is thrilled to have you bring your prop weapons—after all, they’re the beating heart of Renfaire glory! But we’re indoors at a hotel, not storming a battlefield, and New York’s laws are a bit stricter than, say, Pennsylvania or Connecticut. We’ve forged this policy with that in mind, so everyone can shine without crossing blades with trouble.

Here’s the Weapons Policy rewritten as if I’m a warrior—fierce, direct, and ready for battle. No fluff, just the steel-cold truth, forged with quotes from The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi and other legendary texts. Adapted for Wonderplace Alpha in New York, with a voice that echoes the clang of blades and the roar of the fight. Let’s march into it, shield up, sword drawn!

Weapons Policy – The Warrior’s Code

“The primary thing when you take a sword in your hands is your intention to cut the enemy, whatever the means.” – Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Five Rings

Stand tall, kin of the blade! I see that gleam in your eye—your sword sings of glory, and I honor its edge. But this is Wonderplace Alpha, a stronghold in New York, and I, Head of Security for JME, guard this ground with iron will. I’ve no tolerance for fools who’d dishonor the way of the warrior. Heed my words, or face the reckoning.

The Short Code – Swift as a Strike

“In battle, if you make your opponent flinch, you have already won.” – Musashi

If New York’s laws ban it, it’s banned here. No exceptions.
Wield your weapon or prop like a coward—swinging wild in open ground—and I’ll name it unfit for this war.
Unfit steel or gear? Stow it in your quarters—room, steed, or distant keep—or it’s gone.
Claim a new blade from the merchants? Bind it in its sheath or let my guards peace-tie it. No baring it ‘til it’s sworn safe.
Every weapon, every prop—my sentries inspect it. Past victories at other fields or old Wonderplace battles mean nothing here.
If your gear risks blood—too wide, too unwieldy—it’s cast out. No debate.

One guard may nod, another may challenge. My word is final, etched in stone. Don’t think silence means victory—stay vigilant, or fall.

The Call to Honor

This is no jesting ground. I’d rather clash steel than scribe scrolls, but this matters. Keep your kin safe—spill no blood, draw no chains of law. We fight as one here.

Wonderplace Alpha – The Field of Valor

“The sword is the soul of the warrior.” – Musashi

Bring your weapons, your props—let them shine as badges of our craft! We’re no open plain; this is a hotel, a fortress under New York’s stern gaze, sharper than Pennsylvania’s or Connecticut’s softer lands. This code is our shield, tempered for the fight ahead.

March 17, 2025March 17, 2025

Halloween Revelry!

Anything can happen on Halloween.

Dare to Join the Halloween Revelry at Wonderplace Alpha!
On one fateful, thrilling night, the grounds at Wonderplace Alpha slither into a sprawling, shadowed abyss where Halloween entwines with the dark splendor of a sci-fi, fantasy, and steampunk Renaissance Faire! Across over an acre of creeping gloom, bold souls in exquisite costumes—spectral knights, gear-whirring tinkerers, or cosmic phantoms—stalk a realm trembling with the chill of All Hallows’ Eve.

“Here’s a knocking indeed!”—a voice from the crypt might purr, as the night unfurls its sinister delights. Jack-o’-lanterns cast their “ghastly, grim, and ancient” grins, cobwebs veil the void, and “the raven himself is hoarse” beneath a sky of lurking dread. Step into our small yet deliciously diabolical Haunted House, where “the dead rise up” with a shudder, and shadows whisper secrets in a tone only Vincent Price could savor. Roam for classic Trick-or-Treating, plucking treats (or devilish tricks!) from costumed fiends aplenty. Master fiendishly fun Halloween games, then descend into the grand Halloween party—sway to a “tingling, spine-chilling” symphony of ghostly wails and monstrous beats.

The terror mounts with spooky panels, where tales of “ghoulish delight” drip from the lips of our community’s darkest raconteurs. Scream Queens, those “mistresses of the macabre,” reign supreme, their presence a thrill to chill your bones. “Something wicked this way comes”—all conjured with raw, homegrown menace, no lavish tricks needed. “Beware the dark pool at the bottom of our hearts,” intones the night—Wonderplace Alpha beckons you to don your most “exquisitely grotesque” costume, summon your fellow spirits, and plunge into an evening of eerie revelry, wild dancing, and unforgettable frights!

February 21, 2025February 21, 2025

Kull’s Quarterstaff Clash: The Way of the Warrior

Hither comes the clash of wood and sinew, where the bold learn the savage dance of war!

Hail, ye stout hearts! The king of old Atlantis calls thee to test thy mettle at Wonderplace Alpha!

In the rugged heart of Wonderplace Alpha, where the earth thrums with echoes of forgotten empires, stands Kull—broad of shoulder, grim of gaze, a lion among men—ready to school thee in the art of the quarterstaff. Once a king, now a wanderer, he wields the oaken stave with the might of a man who wrested thrones from tyrants, its every swing a tale of valor. Here, beneath the open sky, ye shall learn the craft of combat as Kull taught it to his rebel kin, with a vigor that’d stir even Conan’s blood. This is no grim toil, but a clash of spirit and skill, where the bold thrive and the timid learn to roar!

The Clash: A Test of Strength and Spark

For one rousing hour, Kull, his voice a low growl of command, shall unveil the quarterstaff’s secrets—a weapon plain yet fierce, fit for a warrior’s hand. With the bearing of a king unbroken, he’ll guide thee through moves honed in the wilds of Atlantis and the courts of Valusia, blending raw power with a rogue’s deft touch. Ye shall strike with a conqueror’s zeal, parry with a grin, and wield thy staff in a whirl that echoes the clash of ancient swords.

The King’s Grasp: Seize the staff as Kull gripped his destiny, strong and sure, ready to face any storm. Learn the stance of the exile, rooted yet restless, poised to meet all comers with a steady eye.
Strokes of Triumph: Deal blows that ring with the clang of victory—wide sweeps to scatter foes, thrusts to prod their mettle, and hearty smacks to send ‘em back with a tale to tell.
Wards of the Wild: Block strikes as Kull turned aside the daggers of shadowed serpents, twisting the staff with a warrior’s craft to foil any blow.
The Exile’s Whirl: Move as he did through hostile lands, stepping bold and spinning thy staff in a lively flurry that’d awe the courts of vanished kings.

For Whom the Call Sounds

All with a thirst for the fray may answer Kull’s summons—be ye a youth of ten summers or a grizzled soul of fifty. No royal blood’s needed; only a will to stand and spar. The price is a lone silver coin ($1), a token for the wisdom ye’ll claim. Bring naught but thy fire, for the staves—rugged as the hills Kull roamed—await thee, brothers to the arms that felled foes in a lost age.

When the Clash Begins

This bout is primarily for teaching and learning, for not even Kull has been able to force the insurance companies to permit full-scale combat. Those cowardly dogs!

A Word to the Willing

Fret not, ye newcomers—this is a proving, not a peril! The quarterstaff’s a trusty mate, teaching its ways with a nudge or a knock. Ye may feel the thrill in thy bones or wear a bruise like a badge of the day, but ‘tis all in the spirit of the game. Don boots sturdy and garb free, and heed Kull’s word, for his law rules this lively field.

Stand with the King

Step forth, ye brave of Wonderplace Alpha, and join Kull’s Quarterstaff Clash! Here, ‘midst the crack of wood and the crowd’s hearty shouts, ye’ll summon the strength of Conan’s rival—warrior, outcast, legend—and etch thy mark in sweat and cheer. Crom broods on his peak, but Kull bids thee rise and revel. Will ye meet his challenge?

February 9, 2025February 21, 2025

Massacre Mansion Display Setup & Exhibition

Prepare for a Hauntingly Good Time!

We’re bursting with excitement to announce that Massacre Mansion, the infamous indie haunted house from the Catskills, is bringing a slice of their terror to our show!

Though the full haunted house won’t be gracing our event, get ready for an immersive experience with Massacre Mansion’s unique setup. They’re bringing tables filled with eerie materials, chilling artifacts, and all sorts of spooky paraphernalia that will give you a taste of what makes their haunt legendary. And the best part? Members of the family that runs Massacre Mansion will be here to perform makeup demos and other terrifyingly fascinating demonstrations that’ll teach you the art of fright!

Imagine meeting the minds behind the scares, learning how to transform into your own horror character, or just soaking in the atmosphere of Halloween magic. It’s your chance to get up close and personal with the creators of one of the most talked-about haunted houses in the Catskills, without having to brave the full mansion!

Don’t miss this golden opportunity to dive into the world of indie horror, meet the masterminds, and maybe even gather some inspiration for your own spooky endeavors this Halloween season! Mark your calendars and come prepared to be amazed – but remember, the real terror is just a setup away!

#MassacreMansion #HalloweenVibes #CatskillsHaunt #SpookySeason #HorrorDIY

January 29, 2025February 9, 2025

The Zombie Invasion

“I like my zombies slow and I like my zombies stupid.”

~Seth Grahame-Smith, “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”

It’s almost certainly not fatal to RSVP for this event on Facebook, if you’re on Facebook.

And then it’s Saturday afternoon and time for the Zombie Invasion! If you wish to hang about our Wasteland area, our Zombies will be emerging from Darkling and entering the Wasteland.

Our Zombies are members of the cast. They are not likely to actually eat your brains, smart though you are. They will, instead, most likely offer you a sticker to turn you from (whatever you currently are now) to (a zombie version thereof).

They’ll be stumbling/shambling your way with only one thought: time to eat your brains!

…give you stickers.

Time to give you stickers!

You’re welcome to run from them, interact with them, take pictures with them, invite them to your parties…hey, they’re not OUR zombies. We don’t own them or anything.

January 27, 2025January 27, 2025

The Temple of the Yielding Fry

A sanctuary for soulful moments:

In the sprawling field of our gathering, you’ll find a sacred grove where the spirit of Pearl Jam thrives. “Given To Fry” stands sentinel, a beacon for those who seek solace in the grunge of yesteryear, yet it’s more than a food truck; it’s a portal to another dimension where music and memory intertwine.

The Temple of Echoes:

This temple, small circle of stones, pays a humble tribute to the band, echoes the silent screams of “Black,” where each stone laid forms a circle reminiscent of the band’s intimate acoustic sessions. Here, we’ve placed these near vendors that reflect themes like the social action of “W.M.A.,” the introspection of “In My Tree,” or the raw energy of “Spin the Black Circle.” Each stall is an extension of the band’s journey, from the Mookie Blaylock days to the latest echoes of “Gigaton.”

A Feast for the Senses:

Indulge in fries that are not just food but a narrative. “Steak of Love & Trust” fries offer comfort like the band’s most heartfelt ballads, while “Push Me Pull Me” pork fries challenge your taste buds much like the band’s experimental ventures. Each bite is a nod to the ’97 No Code era, where the band sought to break free from expectations, much like the fries breaking the mold of what they can be when paired with such inventive flavors.

Magic and Sci-Fi in the Air:

Surrounding this sanctuary, you’ll find vendors selling the magic of the cosmos and the dreams of sci-fi, resonating with Mike McCready’s love for the stars and distant galaxies, as hinted in “Inside Job.” Did you know that McCready’s been known to geek out over science fiction, much like the band’s own journey into the unknown with albums like “Binaural,” where they explored new sonic landscapes?

A Pilgrimage for the Curious:

As you wander, you’ll feel the presence of “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town,” the stories of “Release,” and the defiance of “Animal.” This space invites you on a pilgrimage through Pearl Jam’s legacy, where every crunch of a fry is a step closer to understanding the band’s heart. Here, the “Yield” to creativity and community is palpable, a place where fans can share tales of the “Once” they saw Pearl Jam live, or discuss the hidden meanings in “Thumbing My Way.”

An Invitation to All:

Whether you’re here to honor the “Do The Evolution” of rock or just to savor the simple joy of fries, this Pearl Jam temple welcomes you. It’s a space where the “State of Love and Trust” is not just a song but a feeling, where every visitor can leave a little piece of themselves, much like fans did at the “Drop In The Park” in ’92. Come, join us in this celebration of music, magic, and the mundane turned extraordinary by the power of rock.

January 19, 2025February 9, 2025

The Gargantuan, Mythopoeic, and Somewhat Less Apocalyptic Grandiloquent Extravaganza of Martial Engagements, Skirmishes, and, Indeed, the Entire Spectrum of Tabletop Bellicosities; aka The Game Room

““The game was not just a diversion; it was a way of life, a means of survival, and an expression of art. It was, in short, everything.”
~Iain M. Banks, “The Player Of Games”

Enter our compact (small!) yet infinitely intriguing enclave where the very air hums with the electric buzz of adventure and the musty scent of ancient tomes, and a lot of Mountain Dew. This sanctum, no larger than a galleon’s hold yet as vast as the cosmos in its offerings, is a treasure trove where indie artisans and forgotten masters of game-craft converge.

(IT’S OUR GAME ROOM! If you’d like to run a game or ask questions about what games we’re running, check the website in March, or email Jeff!)

Here, beneath the glow of a thousand* brilliant stars**, you’ll find The Codex of Unseen Worlds, games by creators whose names whisper through the annals of both fame and obscurity, each game a spellbinding narrative of worlds never before trodden. Adjacent, The Vault of Lost Lore holds rare classics, their covers worn from the hands of countless past adventurers, games like “The Labyrinth of Time” and “Quest for Glory”, each a portal to epochs long past.

“You could understand the whole universe, but if you didn’t understand games, you understood nothing.”
~Iaian M. Banks (Ibid)

* Two.
** Stars not included.

January 3, 2025January 3, 2025

The Fascinatingly Argumentative Philosopher

In the grand amphitheater of Wonderplace Alpha, where the minds of the cosmos gather to ponder the imponderable, there dwells the Fascinatingly Argumentative Philosopher, a figure as perplexing as he is enlightening. I shall attempt to dissect this enigma with the precision of a scalpel and the humor of a well-aged amphora of wine. (After enough wine, the amphora tells some hilarious jokes.)

This philosopher, much like those of ancient Athens, does not merely converse; he argues, debates, and challenges every notion with the ferocity of a man defending his last piece of ambrosia. His dialectic, however, is not confined to the dusty scrolls of old but is interwoven with the shimmering threads of quantum thought and the subtle dance of theoretical physics. He is, in essence, a Socratic method wrapped in a cybernetic cloak, questioning the very fabric of reality with the same zest one might reserve for questioning the quality of yesterday’s symposium meal.

His method, one might argue, is to make you feel like you’ve known nothing, much like how I might have made my students feel about the nature of existence – or how Socrates might have made you question your own shadow. This philosopher does not seek answers so much as he seeks to dismantle the questions themselves, leaving you in a delightful state of intellectual vertigo, akin to being on a spinning top in Plato’s cave.

He wanders through Wonderplace Alpha, not with the quietude of a sage but with the clamor of a man who’s just realized he’s forgotten to sacrifice to the gods. He engages with all, from the starry-eyed novice to the grizzled veteran of philosophical debate, each conversation an odyssey into the unknown. His attire, one might whimsically note, seems to be a mishmash of togas and tech-wear, as if he’s caught between attending a symposium and a celestial feast.

His discourse is peppered with humor, the kind that might have made even Diogenes chuckle. “Why ponder the infinite when you can’t even agree on the best way to pluck a lyre?” he might quip, bringing the lofty down to the mundane, only to elevate it back into the realm of the profound. His arguments are like the tales of Aesop, filled with wisdom, yet somehow, you leave both laughing and pondering the moral.

In his presence, one feels the weight of the cosmos and the lightness of human folly. He teaches, in his peculiar way, that to argue is to live, to question is to grow, and to laugh at our own ignorance is to be truly wise. For in Wonderplace Alpha, where everything is possible, the Fascinatingly Argumentative Philosopher reminds us that the pursuit of knowledge is as absurd as it is noble, as futile as it is fulfilling.

So, in the spirit of classical humor, I leave you with this: If life is but a series of arguments, then this philosopher is its most entertaining sophist, ensuring that even in the infinite expanse of space, we never run out of philosophical conundrums to unravel or laugh about.