Kull’s Quarterstaff Clash: The Way of the Warrior

Kull of Atlantis.

Hither comes the clash of wood and sinew, where the bold learn the savage dance of war!


Hail, ye stout hearts! The king of old Atlantis calls thee to test thy mettle at Wonderplace Alpha!

In the rugged heart of Wonderplace Alpha, where the earth thrums with echoes of forgotten empires, stands Kull—broad of shoulder, grim of gaze, a lion among men—ready to school thee in the art of the quarterstaff. Once a king, now a wanderer, he wields the oaken stave with the might of a man who wrested thrones from tyrants, its every swing a tale of valor. Here, beneath the open sky, ye shall learn the craft of combat as Kull taught it to his rebel kin, with a vigor that’d stir even Conan’s blood. This is no grim toil, but a clash of spirit and skill, where the bold thrive and the timid learn to roar!

The Clash: A Test of Strength and Spark

For one rousing hour, Kull, his voice a low growl of command, shall unveil the quarterstaff’s secrets—a weapon plain yet fierce, fit for a warrior’s hand. With the bearing of a king unbroken, he’ll guide thee through moves honed in the wilds of Atlantis and the courts of Valusia, blending raw power with a rogue’s deft touch. Ye shall strike with a conqueror’s zeal, parry with a grin, and wield thy staff in a whirl that echoes the clash of ancient swords.

  • The King’s Grasp: Seize the staff as Kull gripped his destiny, strong and sure, ready to face any storm. Learn the stance of the exile, rooted yet restless, poised to meet all comers with a steady eye.
  • Strokes of Triumph: Deal blows that ring with the clang of victory—wide sweeps to scatter foes, thrusts to prod their mettle, and hearty smacks to send ‘em back with a tale to tell.
  • Wards of the Wild: Block strikes as Kull turned aside the daggers of shadowed serpents, twisting the staff with a warrior’s craft to foil any blow.
  • The Exile’s Whirl: Move as he did through hostile lands, stepping bold and spinning thy staff in a lively flurry that’d awe the courts of vanished kings.

For Whom the Call Sounds

All with a thirst for the fray may answer Kull’s summons—be ye a youth of ten summers or a grizzled soul of fifty. No royal blood’s needed; only a will to stand and spar. The price is a lone silver coin ($1), a token for the wisdom ye’ll claim. Bring naught but thy fire, for the staves—rugged as the hills Kull roamed—await thee, brothers to the arms that felled foes in a lost age.

When the Clash Begins

This bout is primarily for teaching and learning, for not even Kull has been able to force the insurance companies to permit full-scale combat. Those cowardly dogs!

A Word to the Willing

Fret not, ye newcomers—this is a proving, not a peril! The quarterstaff’s a trusty mate, teaching its ways with a nudge or a knock. Ye may feel the thrill in thy bones or wear a bruise like a badge of the day, but ‘tis all in the spirit of the game. Don boots sturdy and garb free, and heed Kull’s word, for his law rules this lively field.

Stand with the King

Step forth, ye brave of Wonderplace Alpha, and join Kull’s Quarterstaff Clash! Here, ‘midst the crack of wood and the crowd’s hearty shouts, ye’ll summon the strength of Conan’s rival—warrior, outcast, legend—and etch thy mark in sweat and cheer. Crom broods on his peak, but Kull bids thee rise and revel. Will ye meet his challenge?

Bawdy Ballads and Backroom Jests

Bawdy songs

Step into a world where the ale flows freely, the corsets are loose, and the songs are anything but polite! Inspired by Oscar Brand’s legendary 1955 collection, Bawdy Songs and Backroom Ballads, our troupe of spirited musicians is here to resurrect the rowdy, randy tunes of the 18th and 19th centuries. From the taverns of old England to the salty decks of pirate ships, these are the ballads that made sailors blush, maidens giggle, and parsons clutch their collars.

Expect a night of foot-stomping, lusty sing-alongs like “The Good Ship Venus,” “The Ball of Kirriemuir,” and “Tom Tinker’s My True Love”—songs packed with winks, nudges, and enough cheek to fill a barrel. Our troupe brings these centuries-old ditties to life with rollicking strings, hearty vocals, and a dash of theatrical flair, all served up with jests and jibes that’d make a highwayman proud.

This isn’t your grandmother’s folk concert (unless she was a saucy lass herself). It’s a bawdy blast from the past—equal parts history, hilarity, and high spirits. Gather your mates, grab a tankard, and join us for a revelry that’s as timeless as a stolen kiss in a backroom. Perfect for Renaissance faires, pubs, or anywhere folks crave a tune with a twinkle.

Kiss Army – The Coolest Band In The World

Kiss Arm - the coolest band in the world!
"They try to tell us we don’t belong,  
That’s alright, we’re millions strong,  
This is my music, it makes me proud,  
These are the people who love to shout it loud!  
Whoa yeah, they’re callin’ us the crazy,  
Whoa yeah, crazy crazy nights!"
 -Kiss


Get Up! It’s KISS ARMY – The Coolest Band In The World. America’s #1 International KISS Tribute! 👊

You got the right one baby! ‘KISS ARMY – The Coolest Band In The World.’ The ultra established International KISS tribute phenomenon! Over 25 years in the making! The perfected assault, the timeless iconic MAKEUP, MUSIC & MAYHEM of a VINTAGE ‘KISS’ concert experience is only a phone call away and PERFECT for ALL AGE group events too!!! MAKE NO MISTAKE. This is -the- very same group that’s been thrilling audiences by the masses, conquering the worlds finest Theme Parks, Casinos, Fairs, Festivals, Universities, Corporate Events and the absolute finest Nightclubs across the country and beyond and there’s only ONE.

As Seen In: 49 of 50 States, Canada, Dominican Republic, Japan, Korea, South America, Mexico! As Seen On: MTV, VH1, ESPN, MSNBC, CNN! As Seen At: Six Flags Great America NJ, Chicago, Atlanta & Universal Studios Hollywood Ca & Orlando Florida! THUMBS UP from the original members of KISS themselves and their management too! Bill Aucoin (70’s KISS manager) – ‘It’s mesmerizing… hard to really tell the difference.’ Gene Simmons – ‘They come out like Gangbusters!’ Paul Stanley – ‘Absolutely. These guys are incredible.’ Peter Criss – ‘Just like the old days… like a timewarp.’ Ace Frehley – Ack! DON’T MISS ‘KISS ARMY’ – THE COOLEST BAND IN THE WORLD. ON TOUR NOW! You won’t believe your eyes OR ears! You wanted the best? You’ve found the best! The -real- ‘KISS ARMY!’

KISS ARMY is absolutely THE GREATEST KISS TRIBUTE IN THE WORLD!
"Wanna bite the hand that feeds me,  
Wanna turn the tides,  
Set the demons free and watch ’em fly,  
Strike down the one who leads me,  
I’m gonna take his place,  
Gonna vindicate the human race!  
I am the lord of the wastelands,  
A modern-day man of steel!"
 ~Kiss (who else?)

What's Kiss Army like on tour?

Here's an interview with Ear Candy Magazine:

" Steve Clark told Ronnie: “We’ve got the blood, the fire, the smoking guitar—it’s all there to recreate that vintage KISS chaos.” No specific show reviewed, but this confirms their arsenal: blood effects (likely fake, à la Simmons), fire bursts, and a guitar rigged to smoke. They’ve honed this over 1,000+ shows, aiming for a 70s KISS sensory overload."
One Stop Live Promo (Accessed 2025) 

Fenix Rising

Fenix Rising.

Gather ’round, all you music devotees and seekers of the sublime! Prepare yourselves for an unparalleled auditory journey as Fenix Rising Music graces the stage at Wonderplace Alpha!

Get Ready to Rock with Fenix Rising!

Prepare to be blown away as Fenix Rising takes the stage at our Music/Nerd Festival! This isn’t just any band; Fenix Rising is a fusion of rock, classic elements, and a touch of theatrical magic that will leave you spellbound. With their unique blend of rock fusion, metal, jazz, and theater, they’re set to ignite the night with their electrifying performance!

Fenix Rising has captured the hearts of music lovers with their original compositions and dynamic cover sets. Their music is a journey through time, blending the raw power of classic rock with the sophisticated layers of jazz and the dramatic flair of theater. Whether you’re here for the riffs, the solos, or the sheer energy, Fenix Rising promises a show that’s both a feast for the ears and a spectacle for the eyes.

Expect to hear tracks that resonate with the spirit of rock’s golden age, while also exploring new, uncharted territories. Their performances are not just concerts; they’re an experience, a narrative woven through music that will transport you to another dimension.

So, gear up, music and nerd enthusiasts! Fenix Rising is ready to soar, and we can’t wait for you to join us in this sonic adventure. Don’t miss out on what’s bound to be one of the festival’s highlights. Let’s rise together with Fenix Rising!

The Witch Way Wanderers

“Witches are the keepers of the moon, the weavers of dreams, and the guardians of the unseen magic.”
~Luna Mystique

The Witch Way Wanderers is a dance troupe operating under the leadership of Witch Walk SOSA. Dances are modeled after the Wolfshager Hexenbrut witch dance troupe of Wolfshagen, Germany. The Witch Way Wanderers dance troupe is comprised of amateur dancers of all ages and backgrounds who seek to bring the joy and fun of dance to others in the Saratoga/Upstate New York area. We provide our dance merriment and enthusiasm to public, non-profit and private events helping raise funds for charities. No fee is charged for non-profits or fundraising activities. For private and corporate events fees charged are funneled through Witch Walk SOSA for the benefit of animal welfare. Donations obtained are channeled through Witch Walk SOSA as well.

Our goal is to entertain, make you laugh and perhaps want to join in for a dance!

The Great Garb, Costume and Gear Parade

Krystal!


Greeting, Earthlings! The Wonderplace Alph Multi-Genre Faire Garb and Costume Parade Awaits!


Oh, the thrill of this festive wanderation, the one known as the Wonderplace Alpha Multi-Genre Garb and Costume Parade! We, your extraterrestrial visitors, are buzzing with excitement to witness and partake in this spectacular parade of your planet’s diverse cultural tapestry, where time, genres, and reality intertwine into a kaleidoscope of colors, textures, and boundless creativity!

Imagine, if you will, a procession where the garments of your species’ myriad histories and fictions come to life. From the medieval courts to the cyberpunk streets, from the serene elegance of the Regency era to the wild, untamed frontier of the Wild West. There will be nobles in elaborate gowns alongside space explorers in sleek, futuristic suits; warriors in ancient armor next to superheroes with capes billowing like cosmic nebulae.

But what truly excites us is your penchant for mixing the real with the fantastical across all genres! There will be knights mingling with wizards, pirates sharing tales with ninjas, and mythical creatures like dragons and elves walking alongside characters from your beloved sci-fi and fantasy narratives. This parade isn’t just a journey through your history; it’s an exploration through your collective imagination, where the boundaries of time and genre are joyfully crossed.

Your judges, with their keen eyes for detail, will award honors in categories that intrigue us: “Best Historical Accuracy,” for those who bring the past to life; “Most Creative Genre Blend,” for the most innovative and unexpected fusions; and “People’s Choice,” where your collective voices decide the winner, a concept so democratic it fascinates us.

And the music! From the lutes and harps of medieval times to the electric guitars and synthesizers of the modern era, the air will be filled with a symphony that we can only dream of in our sterile spacecraft. This sound will guide the parade, turning it into not just a visual spectacle but an auditory journey through your cultural and imaginative heritage.

We, from distant stars, are eager to participate, perhaps integrating our alien aesthetics with your Earthly attire from various genres. Whether we dress to blend in or to stand out, we look forward to this immersive experience, where every step is a story, every costume a character from the endless narratives of your kind.

To all Earthlings, whether you come in costumes of yesteryears, futuristic visions, or everyday wear, prepare for a celebration like no other. We are here to revel in your joy of shared imagination, where history, fiction, and fantasy are not just observed but lived. So, let’s step into this multi-genre tapestry together, where for a day, we can all be part of the grand human saga, or perhaps, start a new legend with our intergalactic presence. The Wonderplace Alpha Multi-Genre Garb and Costume Parade—truly an event for the cosmos!

Creating Peculiar Art In An Increasingly Surreal Universe

By Wolfgang Weisser.

Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision.”

-Salvador Dali

Some art defies convention. Some art defies convention and gets you funny looks even from most art lovers. From steampunk to goth, from darkwave music to cyberpunk poetry, we’ll explore how these subcultures fuel the creativity of our panelists. Prepare for a journey through time, space, and the depths of human imagination.

Panel Setup:

  • Moderator: A charismatic figure with a flair for the dramatic, guiding us through this odyssey of the esoteric. *cough cough can we get Jeff to do this if we flatter him enough?*
  • Panelists: A curated selection of artists from the fringes of creativity, each a master of their unique domain.

Discussion Format:

We kick off with a theatrical entrance or a quirky performance to set the stage for an unforgettable experience. The moderator will weave the audience into the conversation, ensuring you’re not just spectators but participants in this celebration of the peculiar.

“OH WOW, THAT’S A LOT OF WEIRD PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT.”

Themes & Questions:

  • In the Labyrinth of Leather and Gears: How has being part of subcultures ignited your artistic fire? What should people know about being an unusual visual creator?
  • Unholy Unions: Share your story of the most surprising art form collaboration you’ve encountered.
  • Fringe Finances: How do you keep your art alive when the world isn’t watching? What are some changes to funding art with the rise of current Internet culture?
  • The Black Sheep: How has being different at art events turned into your strength?
    • …or how has it been hard for you, and why still do it?
  • Symphony of the Strange: How does unconventional music inspire your art?
    • Moderator’s Twist: Music and visual art are co-conspirators in creativity. How can we bolster this synergy?
  • Purity of Peculiarity: How do you stay true to your art in a world that often pushes for commercial success?
    • (At this point, the members of the panel are encouraged to rob the members of the audience at watermelon-point.)
  • Urban Legends: What myths about underground art do you want to dispel?
    • Moderator’s Twist: By myth-busting, we pave the way for new creators. How can we help?
  • Digital Dungeons of …It’s Really Annoying To Try To Figure Out Musical Platforms: What’s your most effective strategy to connect with fellow enthusiasts in the digital age?
    • Moderator’s Twist: This is a good time to remember to tell a friend to support a weird artist.
  • Time Machine Advice: What wisdom would you share with your younger self in this bizarre realm?
    • Moderator’s Twist: Pledge to mentor the next wave of oddball artists. What would you say to them?
  • Future Visions: What does the future hold for art living in the shadows?
    • Moderator’s Twist: We are the gardeners of this unique garden; how will we nurture it?

Interactive Segment:

  • Pledge of Peculiarity: Make a commitment to support niche artists — buy their work, share it, or attend more events. We won’t actually make you take a pledge. But we’ll sure think it hard.

Massacre Mansion Display Setup & Exhibition

Prepare for a Hauntingly Good Time!

We’re bursting with excitement to announce that Massacre Mansion, the infamous indie haunted house from the Catskills, is bringing a slice of their terror to our show!

Though the full haunted house won’t be gracing our event, get ready for an immersive experience with Massacre Mansion’s unique setup. They’re bringing tables filled with eerie materials, chilling artifacts, and all sorts of spooky paraphernalia that will give you a taste of what makes their haunt legendary. And the best part? Members of the family that runs Massacre Mansion will be here to perform makeup demos and other terrifyingly fascinating demonstrations that’ll teach you the art of fright!

Imagine meeting the minds behind the scares, learning how to transform into your own horror character, or just soaking in the atmosphere of Halloween magic. It’s your chance to get up close and personal with the creators of one of the most talked-about haunted houses in the Catskills, without having to brave the full mansion!

Don’t miss this golden opportunity to dive into the world of indie horror, meet the masterminds, and maybe even gather some inspiration for your own spooky endeavors this Halloween season! Mark your calendars and come prepared to be amazed – but remember, the real terror is just a setup away!

#MassacreMansion #HalloweenVibes #CatskillsHaunt #SpookySeason #HorrorDIY

Tabletop Gaming: Escape From The Dungeon of Mad Lord Watziznutz

Axe man.

Escape From The Dungeon of Mad Lord Watziznutz! The world’s first (to me, at least) fantasy RPG escape room! Cunning traps, devious puzzles, all on a time limit. One session only! Character sheets and instructions will be provided. 3-4 hours.

About Your DM:

Jeremy was born in a house he built with his own two hands. His schooling included classics and modern topics, and merciless taunting by his peers. He retreated into fantasy, and has come out the other side as a talented and charismatic gamemaster. He ran his first campaign in 2003, and it crashed and burned. He then traveled to Tibet to train with the secret masters, and his second attempt a decade later was a huge success. Jeremy now has experience in multiple versions of D&D, as well as Call of Cthulhu, GURPS, Champions, 7th Sea, and many more, and he only runs scenarios he has written himself.

It's THAT dungeon!

___

Jeff’s note: I was reminded of this quote and added it:

“I have always thought that the DM’s route to any fantastic achievement in such literature was through a very personal course, most certainly inspired by reading and study or other such related matter, but not actually ‘implanted’ or done for them. I see it as would an engineer who designs, tests and then builds a car. 

There is great worth in all of its many stages and definitely in the end result and it is all yours. Any alternate course offers no equal worth. By comparison, one might buy the car, as they do the adventure, and make it theirs with a little tinkering here or there (as with a car, by adding dual exhausts, chrome, etc.), but that’s not pure creation and the value added experience in this case is negated.”

-Robert J. Kuntz

The Night Of Definitely Not Summoning Cthulhu

Totally not Cthulhu.


The Night Of Definitely Not Summoning Cthulhu:

(Definitely not based on Writer’s Block For Cthulhu Cultists — Jeff Mach Writes.)

Gather, acolytes, under the starless night for the vaguely sacred Ritual of Definitely Not Summoning Cthulhu. We speak the forbidden words:

“PLEASE, CTHULHU, DON’T EAT US”

and so forth,

each syllable twisted with Hyperborean wisdom, ensuring the slumbering beast remains undisturbed. We trace the ancient eldritch symbols in the darkling air.

The Gathering in the Shadow of R’lyeh:

In this hallowed hall, we wear the robes of the ancient cultists, our garments a whisper of the depths, though our intent is far from the abyss. The air carries the scent of incense, not to summon, but to cloak our gathering in an air of playful mystique. We sip “The Elixir of the Deep,” dark in hue yet probably not poisonous, a nod to the rituals of old without the dire consequences except maybe death and being eaten by wombats.

We discuss the mythos in..did we already say “hushed tones”? Hushed tones again, then.


Ritual of Not Summoning Cthulhu:

Assemble in a circle around the makeshift altar, an old table draped in dark cloth. Light candles, their flames flickering with mock solemnity.

Chant:
“Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn… not!”

Draw a protective circle with chalk

Gesture:
Raise hands towards the sky, palms outward in a gesture of mock defense, then quickly lower them: “Just kidding!”

Invocation:
“From R’lyeh’s depths, we call not thee,
For tonight is for mirth, not eldritch glee.
Stay thy slumber, oh Great Cthulhu,
For our gathering is insufficiently cooked.”