“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do.”
-Amelia Earheart
Kitty Otto
Steampunk Queen Victoria (Yes, Really) (Well, She’s Probably An Actress) (Or A Mimic)
Welcome to the clanking, whirring heart* of Project Wonderplace, where Her Mechanical Majesty, Queen Victoria Rex Machina, reigns supreme over a realm of steam and splendor! No mere monarch of history, this Steampunk sovereign has traded her staid coronation robes for a brass-bound corset and a skirt bustling with pistons that hum with every regal step.
(Note: Our actual Queen Victoria is a splendiferous woman, but that is definitely our intern playing with our AI again.)
We have a grand Steampunk Queen Victoria! She’s new to the genre, and thus doesn’t have a lot to say about herself. But we’re really, really excited.
Okay, here’s the AI again:
Born anew in a workshop of wonders, she ascended not just a throne but a towering contraption of polished oak and iron, its arms festooned with gauges that tick like the heartbeat of an empire. Her crown, a marvel of interlocking gears and filigreed copper, spins gently atop her head, powered by a hidden steam coil that trails a faint, fragrant mist of lavender and coal dust.
Once the Empress of a globe-spanning dominion, Victoria now commands a fleet of airships that crisscross the skies, their hulls emblazoned with the Union Jack reimagined in rivets and gold leaf. Her gloved hands, stained with ink and oil, wield a scepter that doubles as a sonic disruptor—perfect for silencing unruly inventors or summoning her loyal court of clockwork corgis, their brass tails wagging in perfect syncopation. Her wardrobe is a symphony of Victorian elegance and mechanical mischief: a velvet bodice laced with glowing filaments, a parasol that unfurls into a shield of spinning blades, and a monocle that projects holographic maps of her fantastical realm.
Widowed not by fate but by a grand experiment gone awry, she mourns her beloved Prince Albert—now immortalized as a sentient automaton who advises her from a crystal-encased cabinet. Yet her spirit remains unbroken, her gaze sharp as a freshly forged blade. She delights in the clatter of workshops, the hiss of steam vents, and the chatter of her subjects—be they human, machine, or a curious hybrid of both. At Project Wonderplace, she hosts grand galas where tea is brewed in copper samovars and dances are powered by crank-wound orchestras. Her Golden Jubilee, celebrated with a cascade of glittering cogs and a flotilla of miniature zeppelins, marks not just her reign but the dawn of an age where history and imagination collide.
With a twinkle in her eye and a wrench tucked into her garter, Queen Victoria Rex Machina invites you to marvel at her world—a steampunk tapestry of pomp, peril, and possibility. Whether she’s tweaking the dials of a time-bending chronometer or leading a parade of steam-powered elephants through the streets, she embodies the spirit of invention and the grandeur of a bygone era, re forged for a future that never was. Bow, tinker, or simply gaze in awe—Her Majesty awaits!
* One of our two, of course.
The Painting Badger – Artist Guest of Honour!
“The juggernaut that is steampunk, like Dr. Loveless’s giant mechanical spider in the 1999 film version of ‘The Wild, Wild West,’ seems capable of crushing all naysayers.”
– Paul Di Filippo
We’re incredibly excited to announce that The Painting Badger will be bringing us his spectacular and gobsmackingly unique art to us from the far away United Kingdom as our Artist Guest of Honor! His artwork, whose Steampunk, scifi, fantasy, weird and wonderful scope needs to be seen to be believed, features a mesmerizing blend of vintage machinery, intricate gears, and a touch of Victorian elegance, all melded with a dash of futuristic imagination. He’ll be flying in for his first US appearance!
The opportunity to have him showcase his creations here is a rare treat for our community. His steampunk art not only decorates but tells stories, transforming everyday spaces into realms of adventure and mystery. Having The Painting Badger as our guest of honor is a testament to our commitment to celebrating innovative art forms, and we can’t wait for attendees to experience the excitement and creativity he brings from across the pond.
See his work! Hear about his art! Purchase his creations! Enrich your life! We can’t stop adding exclamation points! We are very excited! (You may have noticed.)
Captain Dante’s Fight Show
“I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.”
~Alexander The Great
Banned from the Pubs
- Description: A highly immersive and interactive show that features games, audience participation, and rabble-rousing cheers! Captain Dante has travelled the world over, and at every port and tavern he visited, there was too much drinking, wenching, gambling, and fighting. Now, banned from the pubs, Captain Dante must resort to doing all his drinking, wenching, gambling, and fighting in public among the fine people attending the faire! Join Captain Dante as he starts a fight with you!
About Matthew Martino
- Background: Matthew Martino has been a performer and producer of immersive and interactive events for nearly a quarter century. He graduated from Fairfield University with a focus on Visual and Performing Arts and has performed all over the country. He launched Savage Grace Entertainment in 2003 to produce stage shows, Halloween events, and theatrical games. Currently, he serves as an Immersive Experience Consultant with Sage Interactive Consulting.
Where Matt Has Performed:
- King Richard’s Faire
- The Arizona Renaissance Festival
- The Carolina Renaissance Festival
- The Sterling Renaissance Festival
- The Colorado Renaissance Festival
- The Robin Hood Faire
- The Kang Arthur Faire
- The Southern Connecticut Renaissance Faire
- The Midsummer Magick Faire
- The Vermont Renaissance Faire
- The Massachusetts Renaissance Faire
D.L. Carter: The Sorceress of Storytelling, The Weaver of Worlds
Magic Approaches.
“It means that of all God’s creatures a cat is at all times himself. When in the presence of a king, mere mortal man must bow and lady, curtsy. A dog, well trained, will grovel and beg. Horses wait patiently in the rain upon his pleasure. But a cat cares but for himself. He will walk into any room and stare you in the eye, be you king or clown and he will hold his own opinion of you. He will turn his back on you if you displease him, stand, sit, or walk away as is his will. And a king will tolerate this from a cat, but from no one else, since to protest would be the veriest waste of time.”
― D.L. Carter, Ridiculous!
Now, we asked ourselves: “Would D.L Carter slay us with a sword for creating a sample bio for her?”
“No,” we decided. “She will slay us with an axe.”
From the untamed wilds of Australia, where she was decanted from an ancient incubation pod (an event so traumatic it caused the local wildlife to demand a recount), D.L. Carter emerged as a force of literary chaos and creativity. With a wit sharp enough to slice through the densest of magical tomes, Carter has carved her name into the annals of fantasy literature with the fervor of a dragon claiming its hoard.
Once upon a time, in a land where coffee is currency and cats rule with an iron paw, D.L. Carter began her epic journey into the realms of the fantastical. Her tales mix the humor of a mischievous imp with the romance of a star-crossed elvish saga, creating a tapestry so vibrant, you’d swear it was woven by the Fates themselves.
Carter’s pen is mightier than a sword, especially when it comes to crafting Regency-era adventures with a twist of magic, or diving into the depths of paranormal romance where the only thing thicker than the plot is the fog of mystery. Her characters are as audacious as they are enchanting, often navigating worlds where the only law is the law of the absurd.
Now residing in New Jersey, in what can only be described as a magical box filled with toys, human companions, and a variable number of feline overlords, D.L. Carter continues to spin tales that are both ridiculous and profound. Her stories are a beacon for those who seek laughter amidst the chaos of alternate realities, where every page turn might just reveal a new layer of madness or a secret so sweet, it could only come from a world where dragons bake the best pies.
So, beware, ye who enter the realm of D.L. Carter’s imagination, for here be dragons, and they’re serving tea!
Theophanes Avery, Chaos Sprite
Theophanes Avery – Bard, Author, Chaos Sprite
Good morrow, fair visitors to this realm of words! Let me regale thee with tales of Theophanes Avery, a scribe, an adventurer, and a sprite of the fairy kind, whose deeds and writings are as enchanting as a bard’s song at a Renaissance Faire.
The Scribe
Hark, for Avery’s quill hath touched upon many a parchment. Their first tome, “Honoring Echo,” doth capture their journeys across the vast lands of the Lower 48, weaving tales of landscapes and folk with the skill of yore’s minstrels. Each page doth whisper the winds of adventure, painting visions of America through the eye of one who wanders.
Thence, “Milking the Cat” emerged, a collection of mirth and musings upon the creatures great and small that have crossed their path. This book doth tickle the ribs with tales of animal antics, revealing Avery’s keen eye for the humor in nature’s tapestry.
And lo, “Achilles in Heels” dost bring myth to life anew, telling of the famed warrior’s youth with a twist most amusing. Herein lies Avery’s love for folklore, spun with threads of modern wit, making old stories dance to new tunes.
The Adventurer
Avery, with heart and boots well-traveled, doth love the lands of New England, where they seek out mysteries in every corner. Their blog, “Catching Marbles,” is a chronicle of such quests, from the autumnal hunts in Newton’s sacred grounds to the vibrant streets of Provincetown. Each story, a guide for the curious, doth blend the lore of the land with the lore of the soul.
But their adventures do not end with mere travel; nay, they extend into arts of sculpting, doodling with the humble Sharpie, knitting, and even the craft of tattooing upon leather. Their vision for “Through the Looking Glass Farm” speaks of a future where they teach the ways of the earth, husbandry of rare beasts, and the art of living in harmony with nature.
The Fairy Sprite
Methinks, when we speak of Avery as a fairy sprite, we mean one who brings light and magic unto the mundane. Their tales do often touch upon the fantastical, where each day holds a spell or a surprise. Through their writings, they beckon thee to see the world as if through the eyes of a child, where every leaf and stone might hold enchantment.
Avery’s spirit shines even in the shadow of illness, known in modern tongues as being a “spoonie,” showing us all that even in adversity, there is beauty to be found and shared.
In Conclusion
Theophanes Avery be a modern-day bard, a storyteller whose tales are as varied as the stars in the night sky. Through their books and digital scrolls, they invite us to join in adventures, laugh at life’s absurdities, and perhaps, just perhaps, believe in a little magic. Visit their digital keep to delve deeper into this tapestry of tales, where each click might lead to a new quest or a moment of wonder.
Thus, with this tale, we close our scroll, hoping to have enriched thy day with the lore of Theophanes Avery. May ye find joy in the upcoming year!
Ozno, the Jockey of Discs
DJ Ozno has travelled all about this fair country creating music and making heads nod. Now, he comes to us, to bring us music and the Muse!
Surely you deserve a party where the DJ isn’t just spinning records but also spinning through time and space. Your interplanetary time-travelling DJ, DJ Ozno, arrives in a glow of cosmic energy, his playlist an eclectic mix from across millennia and galaxies. Known for his unique blend of musical styles, DJ Ozno, whose real name is Alfonso Todd, brings the vibe with his mastery of mixes and blends. His journey started from the dance floors of South Beach, Miami, to becoming a pivotal figure in the Imagination Industry, where he combines his love for literature and music. At a multi-genre music festival, the pleasures are manifold. Firstly, there’s the sheer delight of discovery as you wander from stage to stage, each one hosting a different era, culture, or planet’s music. You might start your day with the soul-enriching, bass-heavy beats of a jazz fusion band from 22nd-century New Orleans, then find yourself entranced by the sharp, innovative sounds of an AI-composed symphony from Alpha Centauri.
The brilliantly curated music at these festivals serves as a bridge across time, cultures, and even species, providing a sensory journey that educates while it entertains. The transitions between genres are seamless, each set carefully chosen to complement the next, creating a narrative flow that’s as engaging as any epic saga. You’re not just listening; you’re experiencing a tapestry of sound where every thread – be it reggae from the 1970s or electronic beats from a distant future – adds to the richness of the experience.
Moreover, there’s the communal aspect; shared looks of disbelief or joy with strangers as you collectively witness music that transcends conventional boundaries. The festival becomes a microcosm of human (and intergalactic) connection, where the universal language of rhythm and melody unites everyone in a celebration of diversity. Every note, every beat, is a step into another world, making the festival not just an event, but an odyssey of sound.
The Fascinatingly Argumentative Philosopher
In the grand amphitheater of Wonderplace Alpha, where the minds of the cosmos gather to ponder the imponderable, there dwells the Fascinatingly Argumentative Philosopher, a figure as perplexing as he is enlightening. I shall attempt to dissect this enigma with the precision of a scalpel and the humor of a well-aged amphora of wine. (After enough wine, the amphora tells some hilarious jokes.)
This philosopher, much like those of ancient Athens, does not merely converse; he argues, debates, and challenges every notion with the ferocity of a man defending his last piece of ambrosia. His dialectic, however, is not confined to the dusty scrolls of old but is interwoven with the shimmering threads of quantum thought and the subtle dance of theoretical physics. He is, in essence, a Socratic method wrapped in a cybernetic cloak, questioning the very fabric of reality with the same zest one might reserve for questioning the quality of yesterday’s symposium meal.
His method, one might argue, is to make you feel like you’ve known nothing, much like how I might have made my students feel about the nature of existence – or how Socrates might have made you question your own shadow. This philosopher does not seek answers so much as he seeks to dismantle the questions themselves, leaving you in a delightful state of intellectual vertigo, akin to being on a spinning top in Plato’s cave.
He wanders through Wonderplace Alpha, not with the quietude of a sage but with the clamor of a man who’s just realized he’s forgotten to sacrifice to the gods. He engages with all, from the starry-eyed novice to the grizzled veteran of philosophical debate, each conversation an odyssey into the unknown. His attire, one might whimsically note, seems to be a mishmash of togas and tech-wear, as if he’s caught between attending a symposium and a celestial feast.
His discourse is peppered with humor, the kind that might have made even Diogenes chuckle. “Why ponder the infinite when you can’t even agree on the best way to pluck a lyre?” he might quip, bringing the lofty down to the mundane, only to elevate it back into the realm of the profound. His arguments are like the tales of Aesop, filled with wisdom, yet somehow, you leave both laughing and pondering the moral.
In his presence, one feels the weight of the cosmos and the lightness of human folly. He teaches, in his peculiar way, that to argue is to live, to question is to grow, and to laugh at our own ignorance is to be truly wise. For in Wonderplace Alpha, where everything is possible, the Fascinatingly Argumentative Philosopher reminds us that the pursuit of knowledge is as absurd as it is noble, as futile as it is fulfilling.
So, in the spirit of classical humor, I leave you with this: If life is but a series of arguments, then this philosopher is its most entertaining sophist, ensuring that even in the infinite expanse of space, we never run out of philosophical conundrums to unravel or laugh about.
Dressing For Wonderplace Alpha – A Seminar of Ideas and Assistance
IMPORTANT NOTE: You can wear essentially whatever you’d like! Our seminars of dress and other concepts are here for your assistance and delight. They are only to enhance your experience ~ enjoy them!
We’ve invited Jareth the Goblin King to describe the seminar. He’s not terribly likely to be the one conducting the seminar; but your guides will be lovely, experienced people and/or Goblins.
Welcome, my dear subjects and travelers from realms far and wide, to a most enchanting class at Wonderplace Albion, where I, Jareth, the Goblin King, shall guide you through the art of “Dressing for Wonderplace Albion.”
In this hallowed hall, where magic and fashion intertwine like the vines of the Labyrinth, you shall learn to clothe yourself in the very essence of wonder. We begin, as all great journeys do, at the feet. Here, boots are not mere footwear but a statement of your journey’s intent. Boots laced with silver threads, each step echoing with the chimes of hidden bells, or perhaps a pair of shoes with soles that seem to dance on air, befitting the cobblestone streets of Albion.
Moving upward, we address the trousers or gown, garments that must be as versatile as the paths you’ll tread. For those who dare to wear trousers, I suggest fabrics woven with the threads of twilight, perhaps with pockets that lead to nowhere or everywhere, depending on your whim. Gowns, ah, gowns should flow like the rivers of dreams, with layers that catch the light like the moon’s reflection on water, each layer telling a story of the wearer’s adventures.
The torso, my dear ones, is where armor meets allure. Here, we shall don vests or bodices that are not just for show but for protection against the mundane. Imagine a vest with pockets for your magical trinkets, each buckle and clasp a puzzle piece to your persona. Bodices, for those who choose them, will be corseted with intrigue, adorned with jewels that might just hold the light of distant stars.
Then, we adorn with capes or coats, the final flourish of our attire. A cape can be the wings of your ambition, lined with a pattern of the night sky or the map of Albion itself. Coats, on the other hand, are your armor against the chill of reality; crafted with hidden compartments for maps, potions, or perhaps the key to another dimension.
Headwear, my friends, is not just for keeping the rain off but for crowning your majesty. From the grandest of hats, where feathers might whisper secrets, to a crown that shifts with your mood, each piece is a declaration of your sovereignty in this realm of wonder.
Accessories are the spells you cast upon your appearance. A necklace here might be a vial of captured laughter, a belt buckle could be the face of a goblin ally, and gloves – oh, gloves must be more than mere hand coverings; they are your touch on the world, perhaps even capable of turning doors into portals with a mere gesture.
In this class, you will not only dress but transform, learning to weave the very fabric of your attire with the threads of magic and mischief. We shall delve into the art of illusion, where your clothes might change with your mood or the phase of the moon. Here, at Wonderplace Albion, your attire is your story, your legend, and I, Jareth, will ensure that your legend is one for the ages.
So come, let us embark on this sartorial adventure, where each stitch is a step in the Labyrinth, and every garment you don is a piece of the magic you’ve chosen to live. Remember, in Wonderplace Albion, to dress is to dream, to dare, and to dazzle.
The Jester of Storm and Sense
“I was battered and bruised, but the king was amused, and before the siesta, he made me his jester.”
-Danny Kaye, “The Court Jester”
The Jester of Storm and Sense emerges as a central figure, an enigmatic character who dances on the edge of chaos and clarity. Clothed in the traditional motley, with each step accompanied by the tinkling of bells, this jester personifies the essence of medieval revelry, a maestro of merriment whose antics serve both as entertainment and enlightenment.
The Jester of Storm and Sense is a mountebank, a weaver of tales, engaging the crowd with spontaneous acts that blend physical comedy and ridiculous jests. Their performances are a whirlwind of acrobatics, sharp satire, and incisive commentary on the events of the day, keeping everyone from dignitaries to commoners on their toes with their quick wit. Whether in the grandiosity of the royal court, where they dare to mock the vainglorious with their clever tongue, or in the bustling marketplace, where they might host a mock trial or an impromptu magic show, this jester’s presence is both felt and cherished.
Yet, beneath the surface of their japes lies a deeper purpose. The Jester of Storm and Sense embodies the historical role of court jesters, who held the unique privilege to speak truth to power under the guise of humor. Through their performances, they offer not just laughter but lessons in resilience, the art of wordplay, and the importance of questioning the status quo. Their acts are a dance of duality – both revered for their wisdom and ridiculed for their folly, inviting all to momentarily escape the burdens of reality through the timeless magic of laughter.